A great truth of life: It ain’t easy to find a url for a web site. You will learn nothing about the ancient civilization of Minoa […]
I Still Don’t Know
Dear Homeless Man: I meant to stop and ask what you meant when you said “You people running around like indians thinking you’re spreading the […]
The Lifeguard Always Wins
Vanderbilt YMCA, May 1, 2013 Lifeguard to guy 1: “You can’t swim here without a bathing cap.” Guy 1: “Dude. I already swam 10 laps” […]
Unfortunately Average American
Overheard. Guy: I’ve never been to Ireland, but it’s one of the places I want to go Woman: Have you been to London? Guy: No, […]
The Breeze Was the Best Part
On my 27-block walk to work: — Bad-smelling man instructing a plastic cup on matters of religion & politics — Three tourists narrowly avoiding disaster […]
The Man Has a Point
Overheard. Mother/nanny/teacher or caregiver of some sort: “Are you having fun!!??” Male – 5 – 8 years old: “New York is STINKY!”
I’m Also Available for Birthday Parties
Me: “That’s a lot of food you have up there” Cab Driver: “I eat all day while i drive” Me: “Let me guess what you’re […]
I said “Alabama”. He heard “Albania”
Me: Have you ever been to Alabama? Cab Driver: No, I’m Serbian.
It Was Summer. They Deliver Vegetables to the Office.
Me: I paid the fare with the machine back here, but I also brought this tomato for you as an extra tip (hands a tomato […]
And Now … Sports …
Two people got in line behind me while I was standing third in the checkout line. Overheard. Female #1: Should we go somewhere else? Female […]
There are Easier Ways to Meet the Neighbors
Day 8. Trudging down the steps of my temporarily elevator-less building. Turning the corner at the 5th floor landing, had an-all-too-common-lately shock of almost bumping […]
You Disgust Me.
Dear Gray, Flapping, Smelly, Cloud of Pigeons, I don’t know who puts seed out on the sidewalk in front of my building, but I hear […]
The Trials of a Board President
I knew there would be a few days like this. Just didn’t think it would take until Day 23 in my temporarily-elevatorless building. On the […]
Company Meeting Quiz.
You’re a participant in a training presentation. Which person would you rather have sitting next to you? A. The guy who walks in 20 minutes […]
Upper East Side. No Explanation Needed.
I walk into Dylan’s candies. Look around the main floor. Go downstairs. Look around. Back up. An older woman bundled in a fur and carrying […]
Ode to a Piece of Lettuce
Oh, Piece of Lettuce, I saw you again today. Smashed against the concrete curb. You have a new scar, I see from someone taking a […]
The Shut-up Trick
Me: See that brownstone over there? I went to a play there last night. Cab Driver: No you didn’t. That’s a house. It’s not a […]
Mind Games Matter
Getting back in the swimming pool tonight after a few months off, I played a mind game with myself in which I cataloged mind games […]
Beware the Rain, My Friend
The most dangerous day in the city is a rainy one. Terrors to be avoided while walking the sidewalks: – The Blind Bull: In which […]
Minute (and 6 blocks) Clinic
The worst healthcare development in recent years is right here in Manhattan. These clinics that have popped up every 5 or 6 blocks. Before I […]
Rule #12
“Rule number 12,” he said as he picked up the receiver to give me personal advice. I left mine on speaker because I was angry […]
A Weeping Kiss
So there I stood, atop Tiananmen Rostrum, looking at the lights of Tiananmen Square, fully ablaze for a square mile in our honor. Dinner was […]
True. But Where?
I opened my eyes and saw the blue sky and bright sun. He was jostling me with his foot and finishing a cigarette. “Come on. […]
Holiday Cheer.
This is how I know the holidays are almost here: – Angry, unpleasant people are shoving past each other on 34th St to get into […]
Truth is in the Subtext.
Major Asian/middle east airline – staff international flights with the best, most pleasant people to leave a good impression. Major US airline – staff international […]
Kiss, Bow, Shake Hands, etc
Brief summary of the quirks of business outside the U.S. Had a conversation yesterday where I was being quizzed on the above. The answer, if […]
A Very Good Rainy Monday.
Monday – gave my umbrella to a soggy oldish man who was waiting at an uncovered bus stop, resulting in getting to work wet. This […]
A Foreshadowing
Posted 08/06/2013 So today, about 1/2 of my Facebook friends are weeping/lauding/coping with the stunning sale of Washington Post to Jeff Bezos. About 1/3 are […]
For the Record. It’s a Good Idea.
Me: If I give you a dollar, will you sing a song while you drive me to work? Cab Driver: What? Me: You can sing […]
Canine Courtesy
Putting the “dog” conversation in context of places I’ve lived: Question: May I pet your dog? South Carolina Answer: A 20-minute conversation about how the […]
The One Who Follows the Rule
Me: What time did you start driving this morning? Cab Driver: 4:10. I take a fast shower and go (makes a hair washing motion – […]
Shades of Care
Man with Giant Magnifying Glass reading the newspaper at McDonald’s – to man staring into space across the table while drinking a cup of coffee […]
Welcome to New York
For my friends who think New York and South Carolina are nothing alike, i present you with what might possibly be an amphibious vehicle. Spotted […]
Meet a Manhattan Minoan
I clicked like on something, unaware it would commit me to writing 10 things you might not know about me. I keep my word: 1. […]
A Common Happening
Welcome to Chicago. May the wind be always at your back. May the road rise up to meet your feet. And may you never be […]
Secret Service NOT Baggage Service
Vuk Jeremic talks to Kathleen Hays about Europe. Reminds me – I first met Vuk when he came to a conference I ran. Vuk was […]
Napkin Guide to New York
At my Tuesday diner: Man: Excuse me. Sorry to bother you. Do you know where the Statue of Liberty is from here? Me: It’s all […]
What Happens in this House?
Staffer behind the McDonald’s Counter: What is that? Me [finished putting coffee change in the Ronald McDonald House donation box]: You mean the donation box? […]
Back to Reality
Post-Burma culture shock. Jetlag edition. Noises that break the nighttime silence: — Burma – Fruit bats — New York – Snow plows Weather quirks: — […]
Street Walker
It was the silvery mane I first noticed as you walked down East Fiftieth. A noble coiffe befitting the King of the Concrete Jungle. Such […]
I Don’t Wish to Witness the Magic
Guy at 53rd St: Hey man. I do magic. Wanna see a trick? Me: No thanks. I don’t particularly like magicians Guy: Come on, dude. […]
Don’t Get Too Comfortable
Dateline: United Club. Slow night. 9:00 pm: Kids making a ruckus over by the airline club coffee machine. Incessant paging of Ms. Xxxx, a passenger […]
A Place Called Home(ish)
It was this month, 20 years ago when I landed here in Mexico City for the first time. My business partner and I had read […]
An Incomplete Genius
Overheard at my Tuesday diner: Person #1 with finality gives the full story of what happened to flight 370, declaring it to be in the […]
If I Could Find Him Again, I’d Ride With Him Forever
Cab Driver: (singing with the radio/cd/cassette or whatever at 5:30 am) Me: Hi. LaGuardia, please. Driver: (slips “LaGuardia” in as a lyric once) Me: (sits […]
Please State Your Protest Clearly
One-man protest at 53rd and Third. Grizzled man in a bright orange “Builders Union. Build it Right” t-shirt. Blows a whistle and in a “hey […]
The Bus! The Bus? The Bus.
Breakfast at an outdoor table next to a bus stop. Watching the mixture of ages, income class, style and nationality pass by my breakfast table […]
Captain of His Own Two Feet
It took years, but “you did it!”, man in the ankle-length, double-breasted black leather overcoat and leather skipper’s hat complete with golden anchor on the […]
Sometimes an Arm Flap is Just an Arm Flap
51st Street. Delivery truck backing into a loading zone while a man in a suit with briefcase stands at back of truck, both arms flapping […]
Out Loud, But Top Secret
Credit Card Company Voice Activated, Automated Operator: Thank you for calling XXXX fraud prevention we will need to ask you a few questions to confirm […]
Bill Mahan
Happy Patriots Day! Completely unaware of this holiday unique to Boston, I reported to the office on this day in 1997 right after moving to […]
Everything You Need to Know About Airports
Walter Kamb you got me thinking about the downtown airport days. Let me test your memory with 10 of my key lessons learned from those […]
The Shopping Cart Workout
56th St northeast corner of 3rd ave. Grubby-looking man, arms and legs splayed, sound asleep while standing, leaning at a 60-degree angle, against a shopping […]
Drunken Deli Man
Oh, Drunken Mitty at the deli last night, the things inside your head. I’m certain you saw yourself a man of mystery and charm. The […]
Intra-urban Whiplash
Refresher course for my return to West Village: Uniform Midtown: Suit, tie, clean-shaven. Maybe a pair of hilarious, but tasteful shoes West Village: Black shirt, […]
At Least He’s Creative
Grubby-looking man steps into the 1 train car on the subway at 18th street. Him: I’m homeless and I’m hungry, please give [shakes a paper […]
Hold This for Me, Please?
On the subway. Guy (over 6 feet tall) is sound asleep, wearing giant headphones, leaning precariously to the left, about a 70 degree angle above […]
Scary Driver, Good Donkey
Five minutes into my morning run down the side of the steep caldera, a dozen donkeys ran past me. I heard a man shouting commands. […]
One of Us is a Little Stubborn
Ticket agent: Do you have an injured leg? Me: Yes, just an ankle thing. Agent: Do you need wheelchair assistance? Me: Absolutely not. Agent: How […]
Some Places Should Remain Secret
There’s something about sitting for breakfast in an unpretentious diner, with reasonable prices while the owner, whose English is passable, but not great, leans on […]
The Mystery of the Citibikers
Me: Do you like all of these Citibike riders? They are everywhere now that the sun is out Driver: Yes I do. Me: Really? Are […]
Sometimes, Cheerful is Too Cheerful
Me: I don’t feel like undressing and emptying my pockets today, may we just do a pat down? Tsa woman: Yes (waves me through). Step […]
The Happy Cab
Driver: Welcome, welcome! How are you today? Me: Hi – I’m well, thank you. Greenwich and Christopher, please. How are you? Driver: Yes. Yes. And […]
Just Give it to Me Straight
June 12, 2014 Nike Watch My Left Wrist New York, NY 10001 Dear Nike Watch, May I begin by saying I appreciate your keeping track […]
Is There No Joy Extant?
The South Carolina town where I grew up has grown over the years, and these days there are many, many things to do. When I […]
Tonmoy Ghosh
I sometimes wonder what happened to Tonmoy Ghosh. Peter Wolff and I met him about 7 years ago when we were stuck over a weekend […]
The Convenience of the Luddites
Me: How do I order a coffee? Guy behind counter: Use the iPad in front of you. If you need help, ask one of them […]
The Birdman of Craigslist
I try to tell only my own stories here, but this week heard one worth repeating. To start, I do not doubt the veracity of […]
President Dan
Around here, famous landmarks make for great meeting points. For example, any cyclist who has joined up for a ride that goes across the George […]
Urban Whiplash
Yes, people who have asked, even for someone who has spent the past decade or so circling the world, 2 days a week in DC […]
The Indelible Things We Forget
Oh the torture of Summer, 2014! Day 1 Dear Diary, Today I got into a political argument, a religious argument, and a generalized disagreement on […]
It’s How Far?
Let me start by saying that I hate running. It’s boring. It hurts. It gets one nowhere fast. I do it anyway – Not to […]
I’ll Save You the Trouble …
I was just starting a post about those occasional reminders that one is getting old and grouchy, but then decided to just prove it, rather […]
Zetta — what?
Maybe I’ve heard, spoken, read and written too many words over the years, but I prefer to listen to a person who uses precise, simple […]
I’m a Slug. How Lovely!
At the office yesterday in DC, someone told me: “I’m a slugger” It was an odd comment in the context of the conversation, but I […]
We Interrupt this Race for Thoughts of … Flea Markets?
It was probably passing the local sheriff at the turn of the bike course. He stood there leaning way forward, clapping his hands and yelling […]
An Act of Manhattan Charity
Wednesday on the 2 train. 34th Street. Man with a canvas bag of sandwiches stands in the middle of a half-populated subway car, speaks forcefully: […]
To the Ratmobile!!
Earlier today, someone reminded me of the time a rat ran across my foot in a car while in New Delhi. Dug up the post […]
The Underworld
in the bizarro subway world: – it does not annoy me to get jostled, bumped or crushed – it is relaxing to watch rats play […]
The Blue Dinosaur and the Boom Box
August is a funny time. Look past the British, Italian, German and Brazilian tourists who seem to outnumber locals (and generally hang out in parts […]
Sonny Saslaw (with Cameos by Linus Torvalds and Bill Gates)
Yesterday, something reminded me of the late Sonny Saslaw, and got me to thinking about a particular dinner in Chicago 15 years ago. When I […]
Misery and a One-eyed Dog
I hadn’t yet decided if I was going to puke when the filthy, one-eyed dog poked its head under the bathroom door and started yapping […]
Trilby and the Wiseman
Fishing hat. Five-foot walking stick with rubber cap on the bottom. Short-sleeved sport shirt with a khaki vest over it. loose-fitting khaki pants and low-cut, […]
An Ostrich
The quietest place in New York is a commuter train in the morning. Only the sound of an occasional newspaper page turning, ventilation fan periodically […]
The Choices We Make
Maybe it’s the southerner in me, but I’m polite. Very polite. Most of the time. Let’s, as always, leave work aside for the moment. I’ll […]
Cabbies and High Finance
Me: We actually need to be at Terminal C. Cab driver: No. This is the right one. See, it says American Airlines. Me: Yes, but […]
Names Changed to Protect the Insect
Sometime during the first mile of my run this morning, a bug flew into my mouth. A real bug. I tried everything one does to […]
Truth and Science Fiction
May 8, 2006 Klingon? Today was the first day at the office for a new person I hired. That’s generally an unremarkable thing other than […]
The Only Fashion Advice I Have to Offer
“All guys should be wearing shorts and t-shirts, not suits. It’s hot today,” said the complete stranger who works for another company, on a different […]
Do Not Read This
That baby back ribs song. It popped into my head while i was running earlier this week. I discovered i could speed it up with […]
What Gift for a Guy Like Me?
20.8 mph – Calculating in my head as I look at my GPS, that average is on track to slaughter my previous personal record for […]
The Easy Way is Better
10 years, 34 countries, a bazillion stamps and visas, an awful lot of new friends. I can’t believe it’s time for a new one. Officially, […]
The Power of Fragments
If a War of the Worlds scenario were ever to take place (chances are probably pretty slim), rather than sending the common cold to defeat […]
One Question to Never Ask
When circumstances get messy, there is no question more pointless than “Why?” For example, yesterday’s experience isn’t the greatest story ever told, but is a […]