June 12, 2014
Nike Watch
My Left Wrist
New York, NY 10001
Dear Nike Watch,
May I begin by saying I appreciate your keeping track of details with which I couldn’t possibly bother. You do a very good job at many things.
I know you think you’re smarter than me, with your statistics and metrics, but I’d appreciate if you would cease to pander to me at the end of a less-than-amazing run.
For example, last night you had no idea that there was a bike race in the park while I was running. You didn’t know my ankle still hurt from an injury a few weeks ago. Nor did you know that I ran a really big hill twice because the running coach got confused.
Did you see the rancid carriage horse I couldn’t get around because his carriage was blocking the street and the bikes zoomed on the left-hand side, giving me no room to pass? No, you didn’t did you.
So at the end of my run last night when you told me I ran 6.2 miles and shared the various statistics related to that run, telling me “Good Effort” came across as perfunctory and insincere.
It’s ok to occasionally tell me “Wow, that stunk, what happened tonight?” or “Seriously? You’re way better than that”. It would be so much more motivational.
Please take my comments in the spirit they are intended. I plan to keep wearing you for future runs, and expect better from you in the future.
Sincerely,
Guy who got bored during an all-day meeting
