Fishing hat. Five-foot walking stick with rubber cap on the bottom. Short-sleeved sport shirt with a khaki vest over it. loose-fitting khaki pants and low-cut, heavy-soled hiking shoes. Neck of a Ukulele sticking out of his backpack. Unlit cigarette in his mouth. Maybe early 50s. A caricature drawn from a caricature of Hunter S. Thompson.
The friend he has just made in the boarding line for the flight is of South Asian origin, dark grey Trilby hat pulled down to just above his eyebrows, black v-neck t-shirt and jeans. He clearly doesn’t travel much. He’s eating up every word his wise new friend offers.
Which include:
Wiseman: “I hate New Yorkers”
Trilby Hat: “Because they are rude?”
Wiseman: “I don’t like their ego. They think their poop don’t stink”
Trilby: “You are from New York, right?”
Wiseman: “No, I live on Long Island. Outside of the city”
(later)
Wiseman: “I write advertisements”
Trilby: “You are a Mad Man?”
Wiseman: “No, that refers to people who work on Madison Avenue. I keep my office in [names a small town next to where he resides in Long Island]. The advertising business isn’t really like that show, but they definitely have that ego”
(a person in line asks someone blocking the boarding line if they are boarding or just standing in line)
Wiseman: “See, there’s that class difference”
(The conversation continued on consisting of expert commentary on everything going on around the two of them at the airport, and expert opinion on New York City)
Wiseman: “I’m coming from Kansas City. For guys like us it’s more our speed. The City offers more opportunity for guys like us, though. Really the place for me is away from people altogether. I’m too strange”
(They board, seated in different areas. We fly. We land. Trilby finds the Wiseman and walks with him to baggage claim, drinking in more of his wisdom. His luggage arrives first. He shakes hands with the wiseman, exchanges pleasantries and leaves. Wiseman dials his cell phone. He exchanges pleasantries with “Honey” on the other end of the line then).
“Flew with an interesting guy. I gave him the insider’s view of New York”
Welcome to New York, Trilby. We’re all experts on everything. And apparently we all have an ego.