Waiting in the elevator lobby. 8:13 am.
Muscle guy: Ugh. This is taking forever and i have to pee
Everyone else: (Silence)
Guy: (to guard) Is the elevator working?
Guard: (shrugs) It’s slow
Guy: No kidding. This is ridiculous
Everyone else: (Silence. A few eyerolls)
(Woman walks into the lobby from outside.)
Woman: Hi (to guy)
Guy: Hey. (eyeroll) This stupid elevator is taking forever again. I can’t believe this. And I’m in a hurry.
Woman: Oh. Poor you (walks away toward the stairwell)
Everyone else: (Looks exchanged. More eyerolls)
Guy: This makes me so mad. (looks around for validation)
Everyone else: (Ignores him. Works on smartphones.)
Guy: (to guard) Have you called the elevator company? This is beyond unacceptable. Now I’m going to be late. (looks around) This seriously must be a hand-crank elevator.
Everyone else: (a few shrugs)
(8:18-ish Elevator arrives.)
Guy: Dude it’s about time.
(Everyone gets in, pushing buttons for their floors. Muscle guy had rushed in so is in the back corner.)
Guy: (to person by the button panel) Hey – yo – can you press 2 for me?